The Art of Stepping into Tension

It’s pitch black outside.

You’re not usually afraid to be alone at night…

But tonight, something is different.  

The hair on the back of your neck is standing up…

Your beating heart feels like it might explode out of your chest…

Beads of sweat cover your brow, and your shirt is sticking to your back…

You’re trying to control your breathing…  

And then you hear it.  

Growling. 

Snarling. 

You find yourself face-to-face with a pack of street dogs. 

You have two options:

Do you run away in fear? 

Or do you face the pack head-on? 

To live a brave life…

You pick the second option. 

And you step into the tension. 

—

Last week, I shared that I don’t regret any of the “mistakes” I’ve made. 

Because the key to growth is reframing “mistakes” as lessons… 

And tension is a part of that process.

Think about the last time you messed up.

That, “Oh, shit” feeling when your stomach drops?

That heart-sinking thought of, “What am I supposed to do now?” 

That immediate sensation of panic and stress?

That’s the tension I’m talking about. 

The feeling that something bad is happening, or will happen… 

But it’s actually an opportunity to elevate yourself. 

When I was at my lowest point…

Broke, homeless, addicted…

Tension had reached its peak. 

That was my pack of street dogs.

And I had two options.

Do I keep ignoring my problems and waste my life away on booze and cocaine? 

Or do I turn towards my problems and face them head-on? 

I chose the latter; I stepped into tension. 

I chose to be uncomfortable in the short term in order to grow in the long-term.

And you can do the same.

Look at the tense moments in your life and see them as an opportunity. 

A chance to challenge yourself. 

A chance to embrace discomfort. 

A chance to finally achieve the life you’ve dreamt of. 

No one can tell you what will happen on the other side of a tense situation — it’s unknowable.

Instead of thinking, “What if it all went wrong,” try asking yourself, “What if it all went right?”

Objectivity and Observation

The thing about stepping into tension is that nobody wants to do it. 

Nobody wants to feel uncomfortable… 

Nobody wants to dive head first into uncertainty…

And the fact that you want to avoid tension is hard-wired into your brain. 

Humans have developed a "need" to plan and prepare.

A need to know what’s waiting for us on the other side of a decision.

And, considering uncertainty used to get us killed by sabre-tooth tigers…

It’s easy to understand why we’ve evolved this way…

And why we’ve continued to evolve this way.

You might not realise it, but the culture you grew up in…

The norms and preferences you’re surrounded by…

The way you handle conflict and discomfort…

All affect how you step into tension. 

If you grew up in a Western country like I did, you were probably taught that being polite is the right way to behave. 

Say yes to invitations (even if you don’t want to.)

Say dinner was great (even if it sucked.) 

Say things are fine (even if they aren’t.)

Because being compliant means avoiding discomfort…

Hard conversations…

Truths that might not land well. 

We want to avoid tension at all costs. 

But, since I’ve moved to Thailand…

I don’t see that same avoidance. 

Thai people don’t lie to protect your feelings. 

They don’t say yes to things they don’t want to do. 

They step into tension with ease, taking life’s hiccups in stride. 

(I think we could learn a lot from the locals in Thailand — but that’s a story for another week.)

Once you start to pinpoint these differences, the reasons why you reject tension…

That’s the first step toward embracing it. 

So, the next time you come face-to-face with tension… 

Observe how you feel.

Are you experiencing “uncomfortable” sensations in your body? 

These sensations aren’t a call to action, but an opportunity to turn towards the sensation and observe it objectively. 

An opportunity to learn about yourself.

Oh look, this tense situation is making my palms sweaty. 

My face feels hot… interesting.

Objectively name the discomfort, and acknowledge that it’s there… 

Then you’ll begin to see things as they are, not as you want them to be.

Accepting Lack of Control

Approaching tension with an objective, observational mindset will show you one thing: 

You have no fucking control over what happens.

The only thing you have control over is your actions. 

And that’s just life.

The sooner you accept this lack of control…

The sooner you’ll be able to step into difficult situations you’ve been avoiding.

Accepting that tension is a natural part of life is only part of the equation. 

The other part is accepting your fear of the unknown (and working to overcome it.)

Resistance to tension boils down to deep-rooted fear. 

Fear that we’ll fail…

Fear that we’ll succeed… 

Fear that our worst-case-scenarios will come true. 

But the harsh truth about fear?

Life doesn’t care about whether or not you’re scared. 

Plans will change unexpectedly. 

Life will throw you curveballs. 

Shit will hit the fan. 

Yet life will continue on, even if you’re afraid. 

So, what do you do? 

You step into the tension… 

You tell yourself, “I am afraid, but I’m doing it anyway.”

You become a little better at embracing the fear every time…

And you trust yourself to handle whatever life may throw your way. 

Because once you start to trust in yourself…

That’s when tension loses its grip over you. 

And that’s when things change. 

Fuck it, Why Not? 

Like most things in life, stepping into tension takes practice. 

Practice you might want to avoid… 

But in order to escape the Status Quo it’s something you’ll have to do. 

You have to observe the discomfort. 

You have to accept the lack of control. 

You have to choose the tense situation. 

And then repeat it…

Until the tension lessens.

Then, as tension decreases…

And your self-confidence increases…

You begin to see it as an opportunity.

An opportunity that forces you to consider two questions:   

•  What do I want?

• Am I willing to be uncomfortable to get it? 

If what you want is worth temporary discomfort…

Then step into it. 

Because that’s the thing about stepping into tension… 

It never really gets easier. 

Uncomfortable situations never get easier...

Emotionally-charged conversations never get easier… 

But you do get better at dealing with it.

And there will be no shortage of tense situations in life…

Life has a mind of its own. 

So, when you feel the tension brewing… 

You can pull up your bootstraps and step into it. 

Or, you can wait for life to make the decision for you. 

I recommend making the decision yourself…

Because it’s easier to ride the wave than fight against it. 

It’s also much more rewarding to say “Fuck it, why not?” 

Why not step into the tension if it’s inevitable?

Why not step into the tension if your dream life is waiting on the other side? 

Tension: The Gateway To Transformation

At this point, you’re on board with stepping into tension as a way to grow. 

But it’s bigger than that in a lot of ways. 

Yes, stepping into tension helps you lead a brave, confident life… 

But it also makes you stronger… 

More resilient… 

More adaptable… 

And more equipped to run a successful business. 

Tension is inescapable in entrepreneurship — it comes with the territory. 

Getting your business off the ground? 

Tension.

Landing your first client so you can pay your bills? 

Tension. 

Scaling your business to take on more clients? 

Tension. 

I went through this exact process when starting my business, Dashdot. 

I lost money trying to make it work.

(Tension.)

Instead of letting it get me down, I stepped into the tension and learned the skills I needed to avoid making the same mistakes again. 

Soon friends and family were asking me for advice about similar problems they were facing. 

I wasn’t sure how I could help.

(Tension.)

So I turned towards the uncertainty and stepped into the tension. 

And it allowed me to see a business opportunity — Dashdot.

Fast forward to today; I run a successful, multi-million dollar business that genuinely changes lives… 

All because I felt the tension and stepped into it.  

Now, I’m at the point in my life where I don’t let tension win. 

Now, it’s your turn. 

Step into the tension and see it for the opportunity it is…

To figure out what you want in life…. 

To decide if it’s worth the discomfort…

Or to shy away and watch your business fail. 

The choice is yours. 

But we both know that you’re capable of turning towards the tension, feeling the fear, and doing it anyway.

—

It’s pitch black outside.

You’re not afraid to be alone at night. 

You trust yourself to handle anything that comes your way. 

Suddenly, the hair on the back of your neck is standing up…

Your beating heart feels like it might explode out of your chest…

Beads of sweat cover your brow, and your shirt is sticking to your back…

You’re trying to control your breathing…  

And then you hear it.  

Growling. 

Snarling. 

The pack of wild dogs are behind you.

The old you would run. 

But today is different. 

You don’t turn your back… 

You don’t let tension win… 

You don’t let fear consume you… 

You step forward. 

And that one step is about to change your whole damn life. 

Stay awesome, stay powerful. 

P.S: What’s the #1 thing holding you back from saying “fuck it, why not”? 

P.P.S: Whenever you’re ready, here are a few things you might be interested in:

1. Advice On Starting Your Business: A powerful Youtube video where I answered a reader’s question on how to start a successful business.

2. 'How I Quit Alcohol' Podcast: One of my favourite interviews I’ve ever done. If you’re interested in learning how I came from rock bottom to create a life I’m proud of, you’ll want to listen.

3. Follow me on IG: Get bite-sized video content and behind-the-scenes of my nomad entrepreneur life

4. Join The Waitlist: We’re creating an exclusive online community of 6, 7 and 8-figure entrepreneurs seeking to become citizens of the world and achieve self-actualisation through business, lifestyle design, and personal evolution. I think you’ll love it: The Nomad Entrepreneur Network

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